By Paul Stanley, on September 1st, 2010
We all have our favorite seasons and mine is definitely summer. Yes, the heat can be unbearable at times but since I despise cold weather so much, I dare not complain. I think summer teaches us how to handle the heat of life when it becomes unbearable. Sometimes you just need to grin and bear it. Like the changing of the seasons and the passing of time, the heat eventually subsides. Summer also brings our senses to life. I love the smell, taste and sounds of summer. Meat on a grill, the feeling of sun on my skin (yes, my doctor has told me to wear more sunscreen), the sound of kids chasing fire fly’s and of aluminum striking a baseball and my favorite of all, the smell of fresh cut grass.
Although the thermostat will still register past ninety for another month or so, the passing of Labor Day and the start of football season signal the end of this season and the beginning of another. With only a few days remaining in the summer fashion season, I’m trying to wear as much seersucker as possible prior to the clock striking twelve on Labor Day.
It was about this time last year I started down a new, less traveled road. While it had its share of detours and potholes, this new road is now smoother and straighter. I had the opportunity last year to spend an incredible amount of time with my two wonderful children and just watching their hearts and minds come to life is an amazing site. I spent two weeks in Haiti and the Dominican Republic after the earthquake ravaged much of Haiti. It was an experience that shaped me forever.
It has also led me to undertake one of the most daunting tasks of my life and that is writing a memoir of my experiences and lessons over the past several years. Although I’m not an English major or professional writer, I have fallen in love with words and how they transfer our feelings and ideas from one to another. While the work is hard and time consuming, writing engages my mind and soul simultaneously. Regardless of any commercial success I may or may not have, I hope I never lose the motivation to capture my thoughts on paper.
This road has also taken me to a new city. In mid-June I moved to Franklin, Tennessee, just south of Nashville. I have always loved the feel of an active and engaged downtown and Franklin certainly has that and more. There is a creative element to Franklin as it is the home to a ton of writers, musicians and artist. If you are traveling through Middle Tennessee, I would encourage you to visit Franklin and nearby Leiper’s Fork. Both are beautiful this time of year.
It feels great to be back and I hope you’ll check in occasionally and see what I’m doing and how the book is developing. For now, don’t forget to wear all your summer clothes over the next five days.
Blessings,
Paul
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By Paul Stanley, on August 27th, 2010
By Paul R. Stanley
Since November of last year, the saga of Tiger Woods marital infidelity has consumed the attention of a substantial percentage of Americans who yearn for the intimate details of his and Elin’s personal struggles. It all began on Thanksgiving night when Tiger crashed his SUV within the confines of his gated community. When the initial news reports surfaced some of us probably attributed the accident to opening that second bottle of white Burgundy at the dinner table. Overindulgence may have been the cause, but not of a fine and rare vintage of wine.
Just as millions of people worldwide are fascinated with the details of this and other high profile scandals, my fascination is not with the contents of the text messages or the location of each of Tiger’s encounters, but rather watching people soak up every single detail they could hear or read and still yearn for more; like a sponge that can never take in too much water. For the small percentage out there that could care less, well, you’re not reading this article anyway.
Is it simply our desire to know what goes on within the four walls of celebrities’ bedrooms that enthrall us or are we just as curious about what goes on with Mike and Jane next door? I think it’s some of both, but Mike and Jane probably aren’t worth several hundred million or be two of the most beautiful people in the world.
Tiger isn’t the first celebrity to suffer marital woes, but he may have been the most vilified yet. David Letterman endured a bit of embarrassment when his affair was revealed after being caught in an extortion attempt. I haven’t checked the Nielsen ratings, but I doubt his indiscretion had much impact on his late night show or the willingness of advertisers to reach their target audience. High profile musicians not only write and sing about one-night stands on the road but also proudly boast of such interludes in autobiographies written by ghostwriters willing to make these late night or early morning encounters come to life. My goodness, just look at Gene Simmons self-proclaimed accomplishments (sleeping with over 10,000 women); and he has his own reality show!
No, it’s not the details of the story or even of the affairs themselves, but rather the fall from Mount Everest that holds our fascination for such long periods of time. Besides being known as the greatest golfer of all time, I think the perception people had of Tiger was that of a privileged prodigy who seemed to not only demand perfection in his work, but gave others the impression his perfection extended beyond the sand trap. His was a story of a Father who helped his son take advantage of his natural talent, had the ability to endure intense pressure yet still keep his composure when putting for an extra half million dollars and gave the world the allusion he possessed the perfect family and the perfect wife.
After the news of Tiger’s indiscretions broke, his fellow tour professionals reacted in a variety of ways. Some took the opportunity to take a swipe at the games best while he was down and defenseless. A few just gave him a quick kick in the ribs as they walked by. Some offered support and prayers for he and Elin. There’s no way of knowing the exact percentage of where everyone came down on this issue, but I was hoping his tour colleagues would have been more supportive. The reality is we all have our own personal struggles and attractions that pull us away from being the person we are capable of being; at least to the outside world.
Much has been written about Tiger’s rise and fall, but before we prematurely redefine “fall”, we need to draw a comparison to our own lives and to a limited extent, the lives of others. No one is perfect; not Tiger, Magic Johnson, Roger Clemens, Mark McGuire, or Michael Jordan. These were sports figures we came to admire for their athletic abilities first and then their seemingly flawless personal lives. Now we know they had plenty of flaws. Remember John Daly? I attended the golf tournament in Memphis in 2008 when his then wife reportedly attacked him with a steak knife. So why weren’t John Daly’s marital woes a yearlong international story? I think it’s because we’ve come to expect such from John and Sherrie Daly but not from Tiger Woods. Thus John’s stumble was much shorter than Tiger’s fall. John was just standing on the curb but it was Tiger who was on the mountain.
It was obvious Tiger was embarrassed and humiliated beyond recognition. We knew he would be remorseful, yet we were looking for repentance. He checked himself in to a clinic in Southern Mississippi to get help for the addictions that gripped his soul harder than he gripped his driver. After a few months we eagerly watched his nationally televised somber and contrite apology. I can’t speak to Tiger’s heart. Only he and God know that. But I do know that Tiger fell in front of millions and now has to choose how he’s going to rebound and reprioritize his life. I don’t know about you, but I was pulling for he and Elin to work things out. I hope they both can forgive for their sake and the sake of their children. While I’ve never been an above average fan of Tiger’s, I’m now pulling for his golf game to once again rise to the top.
I remind my eleven-year old son that it’s not what happens to you, but more importantly, how you handle what happens to you. At such a young age he’s watched his Dad achieve success and fall flat on his face. He’s made the cut on a competitive baseball team only to log onto the team website the next season to discover his name missing from the roster. I think that had more to do with me than my son’s athletic ability. Falling is not fun and it leaves us cut and bruised and sometimes broken. But getting up and dusting ourselves off sure does feel better than wallowing in the mud. After all, a sponge can only take on so much water. Let’s all pull for Tiger to reach the top once more in both his professional and personal life. That would be a story worth reading about.
Paul Stanley is a freelance writer who lives in Franklin, Tennessee. He is writing a memoir about his own life in business and politics. He can be reached at paul@paulstanley.org
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By Paul Stanley, on February 12th, 2010
This was my first mission trip. So many of my close friends have shared stories of their wonderful experiences from Africa, China, Mexico and other places where Christ love is so needed. One friend in particular was concerned about me making this trip. The past twelve months have been without question, the most difficult in my life. With having to deal with so much, they wanted to make sure I was going to be able to handle seeing the devastation I was about to encounter after dealing with so many devastating issues in my own life. I appreciated their concern; I knew it was genuine. However, I knew God had prepared me for this trip and I was anxious to go and help in whatever little way I could.
I’ve come to appreciate the phrase, “Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it”. Just 18 days ago I was sitting in my home in Tennessee watching CNN broadcast the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti. I wanted to go here but didn’t know what in the world I would do. I’m not a doctor, nurse or trained medical professional. What value could a former politician and financial advisor bring to a country ravished by an earthquake that had taken everything from a country that had little of nothing in the first place. God certainly granted my request, answered my prayer and blessed my life tremendously. By now you’ve seen the pictures and footage on the newscast, hopefully seen the wonderful pictures taken by Dustin in our group and read our blogs.
What all of us a amateur writers have difficulty capturing is the many looks on the thousands of faces we encountered. Yes, some were of hopelessness and despair. I can’t help but think I would have a similar expression if I had lost everything the same way the Haitian people had. But in the middle of this devastation and destruction their were faces of joy, appreciation and love. The most telling expressions were those from children. Their wasn’t a single shack, tent compound or orphanage we visited that the kids we’re smiling and glad to see us. They especially liked us taking pictures of them and then seeing the picture on our digital cameras. On a couple of visits I had my I Pod on and was listening to music. I walked up to a little girl and placed one of the earpieces in her ear. I think I was listening to “Sweet Home Alabama”, by Leonard Skynyrd. You should have seen the look on her face! I bet she’s a fan forever. But the imagine I will remember most is the kids just wanting someone to touch them. I hit me that there is little difference between those of us in the developed world and those little kids. We all wanted to be touched in a manner that is significant to us. It might be through physical touch, an emotional touch or the feeling in our heart when God gently touches our inner soul.
Looking back over the last year I felt as if I had lost everything. I lost my wife, two careers, the home I shared with my family, people who I thought were friends and some material items I had coveted. While my year was challenging, it wasn’t nearly as bad as millions in Haiti who would still love to have two loving children and a family and friends who love me more than I can understand. So what was my role in Haiti? I may not have the answer to that question for some time. I have much to return home to later this week and no amount of money in the world can buy that. I hope my touch made a difference in the life of at least one child. I know their touch made a difference in mine.
Paul Stanley
For other blog post from our Haiti trip, please visit www.globaleffectministry.org
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By Dennis Berwyn, on February 9th, 2010
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